A Child's Goodbye-Don DeForge, VMD-Silver Sands Veterinary

Silver Sands Veterinary Center           Don DeForge, VMD                                         03May2016

A Child's Goodbye

As veterinarians we all face death on a daily basis.  The most difficult death is the euthanasia of a very ill older dog or cat who has been the buddy of a child for all of that child's life.  Parents many times will ask if their child can be part of the euthanasia.  There are many factors that go into that decision and the final decision is always made by the parent.  The maturity and age of the child; the emotional strength of that child; and the pre-understanding of euthanasia before it occurs.  This is a complex topic and is not the reason for this essay.

This essay is about comfort and compassion.  One of my heroes Dr. Leo Buscaglia wrote a book on death an dying to help children [The Fall of Freddie the Leaf] i.e. during the loss of a pet or the euthanasia of a pet that is suffering and has no medical chance of recovery from a very serious illness.  This story by Leo Buscaglia is a warm, wonderfully wise and strikingly simple story about a leaf names Freddie. How Freddie and his companion leaves change with the passing seasons, finally falling to the ground with winter's snow, is an inspiring allegory illustrating the delicate balance between life and death.

The book ends with Dr. Buscaglia writing: "Freddie the leaf landed on a clump of snow.  It somehow felt soft and even warm. In this new position off of the tree he was more comfortable than he had ever been.  He closed his eyes and fell asleep.  He did not know that Spring would follow Winter and that the snow would melt into water.  He did not know that what appeared to be his useless dried self would join with the water and serve to make the tree stronger.  Most of all, he did not know that there, asleep in the tree and the ground were already plans for new leaves in the Spring....The Beginning."

This book is an inspiring allegory that every parent should read to their son and daughter at the time of loss of a family member or a beloved companion.

I see tears in the eyes of children when they say goodbye to their companion and special friend of a decade or more.  The loss should not be a finality of negativity but a stepping stone to the meaning of serving, helping, and sharing love with others.  The memories of the pet lost should be wonderful memories of unconditional love.  The pet lost should be 

honored as mentor and teacher to help the child on their journey.  The lesson of unconditional love provided by the pet who has left their life can now be shared with other companions and other friends met on the road of life.

"Most of all, he did not know that there, asleep in the tree and the ground, were already plans for new leaves in the Spring." Dr. Leo Buscaglia

Share love with your children each and every day of their lives....when it comes time to saying good-bye that love can be the support....the tree that will flourish in the Spring.... and bring happiness and a very positive journey throughout life.

Dr. DeForge welcomes comments to his blogs at DonDeForge100@gmail.com

03May2016