SOMETHING SPECIAL-A tribute to Jim Valvano-Second Leo Award Recipient

SOMETHING SPECIAL

A Tribute to Jim Valvano

DH DeForge, VMD  16JULY2014

Comments from Dr. Don DeForge:

I have written in my blog, in the past, about individuals that I call hero.  Today, I wish to offer the Second Leo Award posthumously to Jim Valvano.  The LEO AWARD is not presented as a plaque; it is not presented on television or at a festival of stars.  It is a PEOPLES AWARD.  It is given as a gift; it is a form of love; and it comes from deep inside those who have been honored to have met, read, or heard the recipient[s] speak.  The LEO AWARD is a statement that recognizes the recipient[s] as a disciple[s] of Leo Bustad and Leo Buscaglia.  Nothing less and nothing more!  Some would say why would Jim Valvano be linked to Leo Bustad.  Leo Bustad is not just a person who espoused the Human-Animal Bond...Leo Bustad espoused values and the value of living.  Leo Buscaglia may have met Jim Valvano.  Both were men of immense inspiration.  They followed different roads in life but they influenced many and continue to influence others even though they are not with us.  

Today, I honor Jim Valvano as the recipient of the Second Leo Award.  I felt it fitting to have you read about Jim in an essay written by his daughter, Jamie Valvano Howard.  If you wish to support the Jimmy V Foundation---- see below---- after reading this essay.  Leo Bustad, Leo Buscaglia, and Jim Valvano would not want to receive tributes if they were with us today.  They would ask that we treat each other better; help each other more; find ways to smile rather than ways to be negative; and most importantly become advocates of LOVE and INSPIRATION.

V FOUNDATION

The V Foundation for Cancer Research was started in 1993 to honor Jim Valvano. From very humble beginnings of Jim's personal friends and family, The Foundation grew. Today, that circle of friends has expanded and the support structure of The Foundation includes people of all walks of life, those who knew Jim personally, those who knew of Jim and many who have joined the cause simply because they believe in the possibility of Jim's final wish - to fund research to find cures for cancer. Today over 12 million people are Cancer Survivors. We plan on raising 1 million dollars for a Pediatric Cancer research grant. To make an individual donation to benefit a family member or friend that is a cancer survivor or just to simply help us reach our goal of 1 million dollars, please send your donation made payable to the V FOUNDATION to: Dick Vitale, Inc., 7810 Mathern Court, Bradenton, FL 34202 I thank you from the bottom of my heart as your dollars will help us immensely in reaching Jimmy's goal of stamping out this disease.

 

JIM VALVANO 1946-1993

 By Jamie Valvano Howard

Jim, aged 3, with older brother Nick getting ready for their beloved Yankees games.

James Thomas Anthony Valvano was the mischievous middle son born to Rocco and Angela. His brothers Nick and Bob endured the constant chatter and crazy antics from their spirited sibling. Jim once said, “to fully understand how close-knit a family I grew up in- we hugged, kissed, touched and said “I love you” so often that we should have been X-rated.” A twenty-five year marriage to his high school sweetheart, Pamela Levine, produced three daughters: Nicole, Jamie, and Lee Ann. Although his demanding schedule often kept him away from those he loved most, his deep commitment to family was the foundation that allowed him to live out his dreams.

Jim of all trades-Seaford High School

When Jim Valvano was 17 years old he took out a simple white index card and wrote down all of his professional aspirations. He would play basketball in high school and college, become an assistant basketball coach, then a head coach, achieve a victory in Madison Square Garden, and finally cut down the nets after winning a National Championship. Jim’s ability to see his place in the world with such clarity was truly a gift. This simple card, coupled with a strong belief that he could control his fate, would guide the next ten years of his life.

At the age of 36, Jim could take out his tattered index card and cross out every single dream. He was indeed the master of his destiny. Along the way, he adopted a personal philosophy for living that enabled an ordinary man to accomplish the extraordinary. Jim believed that enthusiasm for life, dreaming big, and working hard were the elements that allowed him to be successful. There is no doubt that Jim’s tenacity, passion, and vision played key roles in his rise to the top. However, listen to any individual recount a personal memory of Jim and nothing from the above list of accomplishments would be mentioned. Instead, you would hear of the qualities that made Jim Valvano unforgettable.

A Man of Action

Jim Valvano once commented, “There are 86,400 seconds in a day. It’s up to you to decide what to do with them.” Jim decided that he would do it all.

Talking basketball with ESPN’s John Saunders.

He reached the highest level of success as a basketball coach and then as an award-winning commentator at ABC and ESPN. He authored three books, gave hundreds of motivational speeches to corporations across the country, hosted weekly television and radio broadcasts, created his own corporation, JTV enterprises, to oversee his many entrepreneurial endeavors, and showcased his fabulous sense of humor during his guest spots on The Tonight Show, David Letterman, and The Cosby Show. Reporters constantly questioned Coach V about his “outside interests” that took time away from his coaching responsibilities. During a press conference, Jim tried to let others gain insight into his personal pursuits by stating, “I want to do other things, learn about other professions. I refuse to limit myself to whatever boundaries you may think surround a coach’s position. Very simply, I enjoy diversity.” Each new challenge allowed him to prove once again that his talents were limitless. He was a man possessed by life and all of the opportunities that it had to offer. When he witnessed another person doing something he admired, he said to himself, “I can do that.” In a world where millions of people are content to simply watch their lives unfold, Jim participated in every second. He certainly made mistakes along his journey, but he can never be accused of failing to live each moment to the fullest.

A Man of the People

Finally finding a hug after the Championship game.

Jim Valvano had a walk, but it was more than a vehicle to get from one place to another. He sauntered as if he was in no hurry and at the same time exuded such energy that you felt you could never catch up to him. Jim Valvano had a smile, but it was more than just a way to show that he was happy. A toothy, silly grin that should have belonged to a young boy but somehow fit Coach V’s face perfectly. Jim Valvano had a sense of humor, but his magic went much deeper than telling a joke. A brilliant wit that caught you off guard and tickled your funny bone until you gave into the laughter that followed this man. Jim Valvano had a love of people, but it was more than an outgoing nature. He made you believe that you mattered to him even if you only shared a brief encounter.

The Jim Valvano we knew could not have existed without people. He worked to motivate, stimulate, entertain, and inspire any person that entered his life. The world was his team and his game plan would allow us all to be winners. He publicly shared the joys of his victories and the agony of his defeats. He certainly loved the limelight, but he also hoped that others would learn from the way in which he lived life. He wanted to matter to someone and to everyone. Perhaps it was is his deep love of humanity that allowed him to share the details of his darkest hour with millions of strangers that would become his closest confidants.

A Man of Courage

Jim Valvano uncomfortably sat on a small stool in the corner of a doctor’s office. A stranger in a white lab coat entered the room and informed him that he had a year to live. He was sweating profusely and wiped his brow before shaking the doctor’s hand and walking quietly to the parking lot. Metastatic Adenocarcinoma would prove the toughest opponent that this coach had ever faced.

During one of Jim’s final interviews he stated, “I want to help every cancer patient I can now. I don’t know if I can handle that, but it’s the only conceivable good that can come out of this.” Jim proved that he could more than handle his final role as cancer advocate. He spent the final ten months of his life giving the world personal insights into the life of a cancer patient in the hope that he could bring some attention to the disease that affects millions. He was not afraid to let others witness his weakening body or the tears that he shed when he spoke of his certain death during interviews and public appearances. He knew that his body would lose the battle against cancer, but his vibrant spirit was the gift that he would leave behind.

The V Foundation for Cancer Research continues to be guided by the legacy of one man that refused to give up. The Foundation embraces Jim’s call for action, his love of people, and the courage that enabled him to find hope even in despair. Jim Valvano remains an enduring example of the timeless influence that one individual can have in this world.

Jamie Valvano Howard is the “middle” of Jim and Pam Valvano’s three daughters. She is a 1995 graduate of North Carolina State University. During her father’s illness, she suspended her education to spend time with her family. She has enjoyed success as a middle school teacher and later as an event planner at The V Foundation. She resides in Cary with her two sons, Jacob James and Grant.  Jamie continues to share her passion for the work being done at The Foundation through her writing and role as a public speaker.

"To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We 

should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. 

You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should 

spend some time in thought. Number three is, you should 

have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or 

joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, 

that’s a full day. That’s a heck of a day. You do that seven 

days a week, you’re going to have something special."

Jim Valvano

Jim Valvano’s ESPYs Speech Transcript

Thank you, thank you very much. Thank you. That’s the lowest I’ve ever seen Dick Vitale since the owner of the Detroit Pistons called him in and told him he should go into broadcasting.

I can’t tell you what an honor it is to even be mentioned in the same breath with Arthur Ashe. This is something I certainly will treasure forever. But, as it was said on the tape, and I also don’t have one of those things going with the cue cards, so I’m going to speak longer than anybody else has spoken tonight. That’s the way it goes. Time is very precious to me. I don’t know how much I have left and I have some things that I would like to say. Hopefully, at the end, I will have said something that will be important to other people too.

But, I can’t help it. Now I’m fighting cancer, everybody knows that. People ask me all the time about how you go through your life and how’s your day, and nothing is changed for me. As Dick said, I’m a very emotional and passionate man. I can’t help it. That’s being the son of Rocco and Angelina Valvano. It comes with the territory. We hug, we kiss, we love.

When people say to me how do you get through life or each day, it’s the same thing. To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. Number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that’s a full day. That’s a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you’re going to have something special.

I rode on the plane up today with Mike Krzyzewski, my good friend and wonderful coach. People don’t realize he’s ten times a better person than he is a coach, and we know he’s a great coach. He’s meant a lot to me in these last five or six months with my battle. But when I look at Mike, I think, we competed against each other as players. I coached against him for fifteen years, and I always have to think about what’s important in life to me are these three things. Where you started, where you are and where you’re going to be. Those are the three things that I try to do every day. When I think about getting up and giving a speech, I can’t help it. I have to remember the first speech I ever gave.

I was coaching at Rutgers University, that was my first job, oh that’s wonderful (reaction to applause), and I was the freshman coach. That’s when freshmen played on freshman teams, and I was so fired up about my first job. I see Lou Holtz here. Coach Holtz, who doesn’t like the very first job you had? The very first time you stood in the locker room to give a pep talk. That’s a special place, the locker room, for a coach to give a talk. So my idol as a coach was Vince Lombardi, and I read this book called “Commitment To Excellence” by Vince Lombardi. And in the book, Lombardi talked about the fist time he spoke before his Green Bay Packers team in the locker room, and they were perennial losers. I’m reading this and Lombardi said he was thinking should it be a long talk, or a short talk? But he wanted it to be emotional, so it would be brief. So here’s what I did. Normally you get in the locker room, I don’t know, twenty-five minutes, a half hour before the team takes the field, you do your little x and o’s, and then you give the great Knute Rockne talk. We all do. Speech number eight-four. You pull them right out, you get ready. You get your squad ready. Well, this is the first one I ever gave and I read this thing. Lombardi, what he said was he didn’t go in, he waited. His team wondering, where is he? Where is this great coach? He’s not there. Ten minutes he’s still not there. Three minutes before they could take the field Lombardi comes in, bangs the door open, and I think you all remember what great presence he had, great presence. He walked in and he walked back and forth, like this, just walked, staring at the players. He said, “All eyes on me.” I’m reading this in this book. I’m getting this picture of Lombardi before his first game and he said “Gentlemen, we will be successful this year, if you can focus on three things, and three things only. Your family, your religion and the Green Bay Packers.” They knocked the walls down and the rest was history. I said, that’s beautiful. I’m going to do that. Your family, your religion and Rutgers basketball. That’s it. I had it. Listen, I’m twenty-one years old. The kids I’m coaching are nineteen, and I’m going to be the greatest coach in the world, the next Lombardi. I’m practicing outside of the locker room and the managers tell me you got to go in. Not yet, not yet, family, religion, Rutgers Basketball. All eyes on me. I got it, I got it. Then finally he said, three minutes, I said fine. True story. I go to knock the doors open just like Lombardi. Boom! They don’t open. I almost broke my arm. Now I was down, the players were looking. Help the coach out, help him out. Now I did like Lombardi, I walked back and forth, and I was going like that with my arm getting the feeling back in it. Finally I said, “Gentlemen, all eyes on me.” These kids wanted to play, they’re nineteen. “Let’s go,” I said. “Gentlemen, we’ll be successful this year if you can focus on three things, and three things only. Your family, your religion and the Green Bay Packers,” I told them. I did that. I remember that. I remember where I came from.

It’s so important to know where you are. I know where I am right now. How do you go from where you are to where you want to be? I think you have to have an enthusiasm for life. You have to have a dream, a goal. You have to be willing to work for it.

I talked about my family, my family’s so important. People think I have courage. The courage in my family are my wife Pam, my three daughters, here, Nicole, Jamie, LeeAnn, my mom, who’s right here too. That screen is flashing up there thirty seconds like I care about that screen right now, huh? I got tumors all over my body. I’m worried about some guy in the back going thirty seconds? You got a lot, hey va fa a napoli, buddy. You got a lot…

I just got one last thing, I urge all of you, all of you, to enjoy your life, the precious moments you have. To spend each day with some laughter and some thought, to get you’re emotions going. To be enthusiastic every day and as Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Nothing great could be accomplished without enthusiasm,” to keep your dreams alive in spite of problems whatever you have. The ability to be able to work hard for your dreams to come true, to become a reality.

Now I look at where I am now and I know what I want to do. What I would like to be able to do is spend whatever time I have left and to give, and maybe, some hope to others. Arthur Ashe Foundation is a wonderful thing, and AIDS, the amount of money pouring in for AIDS is not enough, but is significant. But if I told you it’s ten times the amount that goes in for cancer research. I also told you that five hundred thousand people will die this year of cancer. I also tell you that one in every four will be afflicted with this disease, and yet somehow, we seem to have put it in a little bit of the background. I want to bring it back on the front table. We need your help. I need your help. We need money for research. It may not save my life. It may save my children’s lives. It may save someone you love. And ESPN has been so kind to support me in this endeavor and allow me to announce tonight, that with ESPN’s support, which means what? Their money and their dollars and they’re helping me-we are starting the Jimmy V Foundation for Cancer Research. And it’s motto is “Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.” That’s what I’m going to try to do every minute that I have left. I will thank God for the day and the moment I have. If you see me, smile and give me a hug. That’s important to me too. But try if you can to support, whether it’s AIDS or the cancer foundation, so that someone else might survive, might prosper and might actually be cured of this dreaded disease. I can’t thank ESPN enough for allowing this to happen. I’m going to work as hard as I can for cancer research and hopefully, maybe, we’ll have some cures and some breakthroughs. I’d like to think, I’m going to fight my brains out to be back here again next year for the Arthur Ashe recipient. I want to give it next year!

I know, I gotta go, I gotta go, and I got one last thing and I said it before, and I want to say it again. Cancer can take away all my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind, it cannot touch my heart and it cannot touch my soul. And those three things are going to carry on forever.

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DoctorDeForge@yahoo.com

16July2014