Saying Good-Bye to Maren Sanchez

Saying Good-Bye to Maren Sanchez

"We can ask ourselves daily what we have done to make the world a better place; to make someone smile; to help someone feel more secure; ....It's the simple things which have the greatest effect.  We must never underestimate the strength of a smile or an act of kindness." Dr. Leo Buscaglia

Dr. Don DeForge 03May2014

Maren Sanchez

MILFORD, Conn. (CBSNewYork/AP) – Hundreds gathered in Milford, Conn. for a vigil Monday night, honoring a teenage girl who was stabbed to death – allegedly by a classmate.

As CBS 2’s Lou Young reported, students and teachers carried candles and wore purple – the favorite color of Maren Sanchez, 16. In all, more than 1,500 people filed onto the Jonathan Law High School football field to try to get past the grisly murder.

Connecticut Gov. Dannel Malloy, the principal of the school, members of the clergy, and friends of the slain high school junior were all in attendance. They spoke about trying to get past the shock, horror and despair of the event, and celebrate what the young woman stood for.

“She was a friend to everybody. She was kind; generous,” a young man said.

“It’s just really nice to see that there’s so many people out here, that are willing to come out and support,” a young woman said.

“This brings everybody together. I think that we can see how resilient the kids are – I mean, more than anything else, we can take from the kids that they’re the ones who came up with these ideas. They’re the ones who celebrated Maren,” said Milford resident Lee Avellenet.

The ceremony lasted just over an hour. Sanchez’s parents and grandmother were present, and did not speak, but rather listened to a series of tributes and prayers about the person they lost.

The students celebrated largely with song. They also listened to the victim herself, in a haunting recording that lovingly reassured the crowd and then suddenly went silent.

Earlier on Monday, classes at the school were canceled as shaken students came to talk to counselors.

“They all seem to be in some type of state of shock,” parent Rick Whitham said.

Meanwhile,  a16-year-old student faces arraignment on murder charges in Sanchez’s slaying at the school, on the day of the junior prom last week.

The teen’s attorney, Richard Meehan, says his client is being held in a hospital under psychiatric evaluation and did not appear at his arraignment in New Haven.

The suspect is charged as a juvenile, but Meehan has said he expects him to eventually be charged as an adult.

Authorities said Sanchez died Friday after the stabbing.

Authorities have been investigating whether Sanchez was stabbed after turning down the boy’s invitation to the dance. Connecticut’s chief medical examiner said Sunday that Sanchez died of wounds to her torso and neck.

Sanchez, a member of the National Honor Society who was active in drama and other school activities, had been focused on prom in the days before her death.

She had posted a photograph on Facebook of her blue prom dress and was looking forward to attending with a new boyfriend.

“She had an infectious smile, you wanted to be around her,” the school’s drama director Michael Mele told CBS 2’s Scott Rapoport.

The junior prom was postponed on Friday because of the killing, but has been rescheduled. Sanchez is the honorary queen.

Sanchez performed in “A Christmas Carol” and was getting ready for the opening of “Little Shop of Horrors” this Friday.

“Today we’re going to bring the drama club in to step on the stage for the first time to remember our lost friend,” Mele said.

Mele said he and the kids in the drama club have decided the show will go on as scheduled. The performance will be a tribute Sanchez.

Organizers are seeking donations so the junior class can buy a memorial bench in Sanchez’s honor.

The suspect’s attorney released a statement to the victim’s family, saying: “We know they’ve suffered a tremendous loss and thoughts and prayers are with the Sanchez family.”

Comments from Dr. Don DeForge:

I don't want the words in this commentary to be considered a eulogy.  Eulogies are created by those who are very close to the person being honored.  I have been moved by stories about Maren.  I  live in Milford and have spoken to some of her classmates who know me personally.  They speak with a tear in their eyes but with an excitement about the person that Maren was to them and all those that she met.  

I remember the words of Ted Kennedy when his brother Robert was assasinated.

"My brother need not be idealized, or enlarged in death beyond what he was in life; to be remembered simply as a good and decent man, who saw wrong and tried to right it, saw suffering and tried to heal it, saw war and tried to stop it.

"Those of us who loved him and who take him to his rest today, pray that what he was to us and what he wished for others will some day come to pass for all the world.

"As he said many times, in many parts of this nation, to those he touched and who sought to touch him: 'Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not."

I never met Maren and for me that will be a special loss in itself.  I was told that she wanted to become a veterinarian after college.  As a veterinarian, I have mentored and continue to mentor pre-veterinary students.  One day Maren and I may have met.  The words by Ted Kennedy I want to repeat are these....

Speaking them this time for Maren......"Those of us who loved her and who take her to rest today, pray that what she was to us and what she wished for others will some day come to pass for all of the world."

This blog commentary is not a commentary of sadness.  On the other hand it is a wake up call....

Dr. Leo Buscaglia states--"We can ask ourselves daily what we have done to make the world a better place; to make someone smile; to help someone feel more secure; ....It's the simple things which have the greatest effect."

From those that I have spoken to....... Maren was definitely on track...she was already dreaming things that never were and saying why not.....Let Maren's death change all of us.......not negatively or by being consumed with hate for her attacker.  Maren would not want that.  She would want us to take over where she left us.....smile more.....help others.....do not let a day pass without telling your parents, your spouse, your partner, or your friends how much you love them.  The pain of being without Maren can only go away....at least lessen....by taking Maren into our hearts and bringing her to others.

Students and Friends Meet for Vigil at Walnut Beech for Maren

Dr. Don DeForge

hyyp://animaldocammultimedia.blogspot.com

Comments on this Blog-Please address to DoctorDeForge@yahoo.com

03May2014