BULLYING: There is An Answer!-DH DeForge, VMD

Bullying

There is an Answer!

DH DeForge, VMD

"The only way to end bullying is to talk about it openly rather than making it a taboo issue. If someone is hurting another person, they will not stop unless someone (either a fellow classmate or someone in authority) stands up for the victim and tells their tormentor to stop. Bullying is everyone’s problem; therefore everyone has to be part of the solution."  Carrie Ann Goodsoil

Bullying Definition-stopbullying.gov

Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Both kids who are bullied and who bully others may have serious, lasting problems. 

In order to be considered bullying, the behavior must be aggressive and include:

• An Imbalance of Power: Kids who bully use their power—such as physical strength, access to embarrassing information, or popularity—to control or harm others. Power imbalances can change over time and in different situations, even if they involve the same people.
• Repetition: Bullying behaviors happen more than once or have the potential to happen more than once.

Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose.

Comments from Dr. DeForge:

I write this letter as a concerned parent who suffers with the parents of children being tormented by bullying. When I decided to put together this essay on bullying, I wanted to accomplish two important goals.  The first is to bring the discussion of this type of threatening harassment back into the main stream of social media and the second was to help change and even save the life of a young person[s] who are suffering from bullying.

The definition above from stopbullying.gov has covered ALL aspects of bullying.  The one area it does not cover completely is finding help for the person suffering the pain and loneliness initiated by the bully. There is no simple answer to give. The advent of the power of the internet has taken bullying to a greater extreme.  Individuals can hide behind a fictitious tag-screen name and spend their day hurting others.

I have included a student essay on bullying within the framework of this essay by Morgan Biggs.  I truly believe that bullying cannot be stopped by school administrators, teachers, or school boards.  It cannot be legislated against.  It is not another program that can be brought to state legislators to be funded.

It is my opinion that the "ring leader" of the bullying phenomenon must be sought out in the school or forum in which it is occurring.  Students can help in the identification of these individuals.  Once the bully is found, it cannot end with a suspension or a promise to do no wrong in the future.  The parents of the bully must become part of an effort to seek immediate counseling for their son or daughter that is monitored closely by those officials who are in school administration.  

The counseling is not for a lay person to choose.  The counseling program should be tailored to the needs of the student by a health professional.  Bullying occurs in the middle school, the high schools, and even in colleges.  

This effort of separation and counseling is enormous.  It is not as enormous as the suffering and even death of a child that can no long stand the torment.  Morgan Biggs in the essay herein talks about "peanut gallery bullying"!  

The individuals who have freely joined in the bullying phenomenon must also be examined one student at a time.  

Advancement from the "peanut gallery" to "ringleader " can occur as one of the past leaders departs, graduates, or moves to another school.  Read Morgan Bigg's words below!

AWARD WINNING ESSAY ON BULLYING BY MORGAN BIGGS

Bullying comes in many different forms, from cyber-bullying to physical bullying. It’s all wrong and it has to stop. Bullying has a real negative effect on the victim’s life. Those who are constantly bullied can be pushed to the breaking point, where they could end up hurting themselves or others.

Why do students bully their class mates? I believe students bully other because they are insecure and lack confidence. They use bullying tactics to impress other students. Bullies thrive on attention they get from their fellow classmates. Their hurtful actions make them feel powerful and popular. Bullies pick on students who they think are weak in physical stature, unpopular with their peers, easily intimated, or discriminated against.

Bullying occurs on a regular basis in many schools. It’s usually started by the same person or a ring leader who gets a few other students to join in on the bullying. Unfortunately, the majority of students are spectators who act like the “peanut gallery” laughing out loud or snickering behind the victim’s back. The “peanut gallery” may not directly bully the victim, but by standing on the sidelines giving their attention to the actions they encourage they bully. Even though I am not a bully, I have been part of the “peanut gallery” that makes bullying an even worse situation. The “peanut gallery” are students that can make a positive change to stop bullying.

As students, we can take action to stop bullying in our schools and I have some ideas to make this happen. I and a group of students would dedicate one week at the beginning of the school year to hold an anti-bullying campaign called “Bully Beatdown.” The “Bully Beatdown” campaign would raise awareness to the issues of bullying. For the campaign kick-off, I would hold a rally for students to share their personal stories and experience with bullying. I would invite a counselor or a psychologist specializing in anti-social behavior to speak at the rally about the effects of bullying. The person could train students on anti-bullying tactics.

During the “Bully Beatdown” campaign, I would have students perform skits acting out different bullying scenarios and ways they can stop bullying such as befriending a victim of bullying. To promote my campaign, I would pass out information flyers and pamphlets, buttons, and signs to post throughout the school in bathrooms, gyms, lunchrooms, and hallways.

Another feature of the campaign will have students sign a social contract agreeing to not participate in bullying of any kind, to stand up for the victims of bullying, to not be a bystander to bullying, and to report bullying to teachers or a responsible adult.
I would create an organization called “Bully Guardians” which is a community of students who act as a support network for students targeted by bullies. The students who were spectators to bullying can become a “Bully Guardian.”

Many students are afraid to report bullying incidents they observe because they might become targets themselves. I would create an “Anonymous Email System” for those students who don’t want to report an incident in-person to a teacher or the principal. The student could send an email explaining the bullying incident they saw or encountered.

After the campaign kick-off, I propose that each month schools devote a day to bully awareness and to report on the progress they have made to stop bullying. I believe my plan of action is practical and easy to implement in schools.

From Do Something. org

“Cyber bullying” is defined as a young person tormenting, threatening, harassing, or embarrassing another young person using the Internet or other technologies, like cell phones.

The psychological and emotional outcomes of cyber bullying are similar to those of real-life bullying. The difference is, real-life bullying often ends when school ends. For cyber bullying, there is no escape. And, it’s getting worse. Read on to get the facts.

1. Nearly 43% of kids have been bullied online. 1 in 4 has had it happen more than once.
2. 70% of students report seeing frequent bullying online.
3. Over 80% of teens use a cell phone regularly, making it the most common medium for cyber bullying.
4. 68% of teens agree that cyber bullying is a serious problem.
5. 81% of young people think bullying online is easier to get away with than bullying in person.
6. 90% of teens who have seen social-media bullying say they have ignored it. 84% have seen others tell cyber bullies to stop.
7. Only 1 in 10 victims will inform a parent or trusted adult of their abuse.
8. Girls are about twice as likely as boys to be victims and perpetrators of cyber bullying.
9. About 58% of kids admit someone has said mean or hurtful things to them online. More than 4 out 10 say it has happened more than once.
10. About 75% have visited a website bashing another student.
11. Bullying victims are 2 to 9 times more likely to consider committing suicide.
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    MARCH 25, 2012 Posted by CYBERBULLYINGFACTS in CYBER BULLYING PREVENTION
    
    According to the National Crime Prevention Association, cyber bullying happens when teens use the Internet, cell phones, or other devices to send or post text or images intended to hurt or embarrass another person.
    More than 50% of all American teens have been a victim of cyber bullying so it is imperative that students, parents, and educators are aware of ways to stop it.
    1) Do Not Participate - This may sound like common sense but many teens do not realize that they are guilty of cyber bullying by commenting on or sharing offending text or pictures, even if they were not the ones who originally started the bullying. Make sure your kids or students know that they should refuse to take part in these actions.
    2) Block the Cyber Bully - Most social networking websites, cell phones, and other messaging applications have functions that will allow a user to block messages or other types of communication from specific individuals. It is possible (and quite easy) for dedicated bullies to create fake profiles and accounts to get around certain blocks however.
    3) Direct Action - Rather than immediately tell an adult about an instance of cyber bullying, students can also choose to ask the bully to stop directly. Sometimes this form of direct communication can be very effective, but its success also depends highly on other variables including personalities, relationships, and environment.
    4) Tell An Adult - One of the tougher actions for a teenage child to take is telling an adult when a friend or classmate is being bullied. Many students are afraid of the possible retaliation by peers when thought of as a 'tattle-tale'. If an issue is brought up by a student, educators or officials should do their best to protect the anonymity of the whistle blower.
    5) Preventative or Proactive Education - There are not a whole lot of teenagers who will sit down at their computer and research cyber bullying. That means it is crucial that parents and educators take a proactive approach to educating kids about cyber bullying. Teach them ways to identify, prevent, and report cyber bullying and let them know that they should feel safe reporting instances of bullying to a trusted adult.
    Children are affected every day by cyber bullying and some have even gone as far as to take their own lives because of it. Please share this information with your children or students.  
14. From cyber-bullying there is no escape; no walking away; it encompasses all social media and methods of Internet communication.  It is up to parents to speak to their children if they are not acting right or seem unhappy.  It is up to friends to contact the parents of a peer that is suffering cyber-bullying. This is not copping-out or ratting-out but finding a way their friend can be helped. Do not skim this article or hit the delete button.  Re-read it, copy it, and bring it to a friend in need.  
15. You could save a life!
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17. Dr. Don DeForge  10Nov2013
18. Comments to:
19. DoctorDeForge@yahoo.com
20. Special Edition with Dr. Don DeForge
21. Seeking Ways To Make A Difference
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